


Empty

by nathaniel_hp



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-05
Updated: 2009-05-05
Packaged: 2017-11-18 15:58:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/562809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nathaniel_hp/pseuds/nathaniel_hp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The wolf left a hole in his soul, desperately wanting to be filled, but there was nothing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Empty

**Author's Note:**

> This drabble was inspired my birthday present from [](http://kath-ballantyne.livejournal.com/profile)[**kath_ballantyne**](http://kath-ballantyne.livejournal.com/), which can be found [here.](http://kath-ballantyne.livejournal.com/481015.html#cutid1)

The last couple of minutes were a fierce battle. The wolf didn't want to leave, but couldn't do anything against the ever increasing humanity that was pushing it back, further back, until it was nothing but a painful memory – until the next full moon. The wolf never left without a fight. The physical pain of a body changing, shifting, rearranging itself was nothing compared to the mental pain of trying to desperately cling to his humanity at the beginning of the night. And both these pains were nothing compared to the violence with which the wolf fought at the end of the night. The worst injuries weren't due to the wolf being locked up and without prey; they were always caused by its desperate fight to stay in control.

Remus slowly and reluctantly woke up. He was cold, as he lay naked on the threadbare carpet in the old shed. For a few moments, he just lay still, listening for the wolf, always scared that it might return, that this time it had succeeded in its attempts to stay. But no, it was gone, for another month he was Remus again, just Remus. Remus carefully assessed his body, just feeling for pains and discomfort, not yet moving. His head felt heavy and his right leg was on fire, but apart from that, he seemed okay.

Remus carefully sat up, his bones stiff and aching. He winced as he drew his injured leg up to his chest. It was this precise moment every month, when he started to move again in his human body, that Remus searched for his will to carry on, for his will to fight. The wolf left a hole in his soul, desperately wanting to be filled, but there was nothing. Alone and empty, Remus wanted to just let go. Ever since he'd been bitten, since he was a child, he had found himself wishing he wouldn't wake up again after the moon. A single tear slowly slid down Remus's cheek, making him gasp as it trailed along the cut in his cheek.

Remus knew that the shed was empty, that there was no point in looking for a knife, a rope, anything that would help him end this. He looked around nevertheless, hoping against hope that someone, he himself, had forgotten to remove everything that was potentially dangerous. Something orange caught his eyes. He frowned and crawled toward it.

A blanket. Ron had left a blanket for him, knowing that he'd be cold when he woke up in the morning. Remus wrapped himself in it, warmth flooding his body and soul.

As he sat there, huddled in his blanket and getting used to being human again, he felt another warmth behind him. Ron didn't say anything. He crouched down next to Remus, an arm around Remus's shoulder. As Remus felt his exhaustion taking over, he knew that when he woke up next he would be glad to be back.


End file.
